Posts

I am going through a phase ... No posts. The railing just falls over.

I have never been anal about posting, prefering the Big Kahuna and utterly inane, that which rips out hearts and soul--or, last night's gas--to posting volume. There will never be the question: Can you live without me for two days instead of one?

There is nothing exciting about perversion, in general, and cerebral specifically. (Leaving you hanging, now.) I am addicted to both. One woman went postal over my comments on her blog. I thought we were just 'peachy keen' friends. Turns out she was a control freak, of her masochism. It's OK. This is what happens at public hangings ... Especially, when they are unplanned.

The other matter I want to bring up (as if you will ever have a choice. No, don't you dare mention it) is .... Ummm, ..... Darn, I forgot. I'll figure it out and let you know, tomorrow. You all are anxious to know, I know. 

Oh, yah...! Don't lie. Don't cheat; you only hurt yourself if you do. How many of you take chances and don't use spell check?  I have read some blogs where I know the answer without asking. I have this absolutely outrageous fetish for spelling. I think the phobia derived from business. Or, insecurity. I could say totally stupid, dumb-ass shit, but it had to be spelled and grammared correctly.  Now, years later, mispelling a word has me all tingley and arroused. Used to be lots, lots of commas.

Note, some mispellings, above, are intentional. What a rush! The real mistakes, are like forgetting to zip your pants after a trip to the urinal, or a three-foot tail of toilet tissue fluttering from the elastic of your pants. The genders share humility on my blog.

Happy St. Pat's Day

My two favorite colors:  One, associated with life and growth. The other, with desire and excitement.

Lingerie: It's not just for when you are at the Emergency Room.

"It takes one to know one... and vice versa!"

It's 'Half-Wit Wisdom' Time-

Following up on the heels of Bogey, here's another oldie (and, still fresh) character from Everyone's dark past. 

I always thought Kilroy inspired the image of Afred E. Neuman, but apparently, it was this individual who turns 100 years young soon.

[Memo to self: Submit A.E.N. pic. to Willard Scott at TODAY.]

New Header Image

It just occured to me that I am part of a world community. 

It is mid-winter here on the west coast of US and Canada, but I rarely see snow, or frost, or even something heavier than a light jacket.  However, we get plenty of rain. One spot west of me gets over 300-inches of rain, annually--a temperate rainforest.

So, in honor of all the Ozzies surfing to work now, on this beautiful summer day, I give you an Atlantic winter storm ...

Huhhh???

New Years Resolutions… I’m Dead Otherwise

Somewhere, I think between Christmas ham with scalloped potatoes and New Year’s Eve alcohol excess, we dream up promises of banal changes to our lives. This is doable, as if a thought will halt my six decades of eating palatable food in favor of safer cardboard can be accomplished on January 01 in the midst of a hangover. Cream the butter and dream on, MacDuff.

But somehow the reaper, Old Man, snuck into my particular comedy and juiced the bouncer. No sooner have I metaphorically licked the final Christmas card stamp for the happy greetings card and annual letter then Old Man plays a dirty trick. There is little more convincing support for a life change, than a life change.

Why can quitting a bad habit spawn a rash of co-morbidities?

I Voted Today, but Elections are Postponed for More Advertising Income

We get to vote in the comfort of our own homes, now.  Everyone. I've done it for years, "absentee".

This year, completing the ballot was a delightful and exhausting experience! While I filled in the boxes she told me to with a pen in my mouth (full ligature), Mistress flipped the card to the back, and cleaned away messy drool and snot.

It would be nice to think the voting torture was all done, but realize I have to endure another week of phone-mail-internet-and-TV-"Hate-Hell". I spend a lot of my leisure looking at my email, now--imagine ... no spam, there.

>>> ....buzzzzzzz ... We interrupt this mundane, poor income program for the following news regarding :::: ....

However, there is a case before the Supreme Court to legalise Spam, so $$Dollar$$ Candidates (industries and business) can plumb that market vehicle, too.

Both major political parties agreed to pool legal expenses to challenge the "No Spam" barrier. Each party recognises a clearly beneficial outcome for the additional advertising market. The parties were successful in postponing the mid-term elections so the "No Spam" challenge could be heard and therefore cash-in on windfall profits when the Court overturns e-Mail Spam political advertising barriers.

The arguments to be presented to the Court are: One, Spam has the same rights as people, and business [business clarified as legally "people", too]. Second, Spam has been kicked around as bad, and not even healthful as dog food. And, since people won't be allowed to go camping in the near future (where Spam is consumed) because all public land is to be sold to draw-down the national debt ... it's critical to maintain vital American businesses; especially one that just last week changed its image and is moving from beer-and-spaghetti-puke yellow (Fall colors) to eco-Green, due to reduced sodium content that will kill people an astounding 1/3 less quickly.

The anticipated benefits to opening Spam to advertising dollars and improved consumption will be an additional 25 millon jobs ... WHICH everyone knows is far more important than any longterm, or short, hazards  and damage to environment, people, or aligned Industry.  The 100 {sic. 100,000, ed.} jobs presently held in blocking Spam will benefit from tax dollars to retrain as advertisers, and soup-line workers.

WE ALL WANT JOBS, DON"T We?
Back to regular programming.....

One benefit of early voting: I don't have to hang up the phone in the middle of a volunteer's sentence. I can interrupt and tell them: "I voted for the candidate with the fewest, least obnoxious advertisements." Does anyone remember when they called to remind you just to vote? Or, offer unconditional transportation to the polls?

Next election, I'm only going to vote for the unchallenged judges. I've ignored marking/punching their slots since the second time I ever voted. And, Fred Ziffel may come out of retirement to challenge everyone as a write-in.

Signed,
Rebellious Voter

PS. Mistress has promised to complete her ballot on my back using a tattoo needle.

Prostitution - The Truth

National TV interview-
........
Sex worker: "Dr, do you have a loving sex life with your wife?"

Dr. P.: "Huh ... Of course! But, we are talking about prostitution --"

Sex worker: "I'm not a prostitute. Off camera, I am free. If anyone here is a prostitute, it is your wife. You buy sex from her with your income."

[You read it hear first.]