Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I Voted Today, but Elections are Postponed for More Advertising Income

We get to vote in the comfort of our own homes, now.  Everyone. I've done it for years, "absentee".

This year, completing the ballot was a delightful and exhausting experience! While I filled in the boxes she told me to with a pen in my mouth (full ligature), Mistress flipped the card to the back, and cleaned away messy drool and snot.

It would be nice to think the voting torture was all done, but realize I have to endure another week of phone-mail-internet-and-TV-"Hate-Hell". I spend a lot of my leisure looking at my email, now--imagine ... no spam, there.

>>> ....buzzzzzzz ... We interrupt this mundane, poor income program for the following news regarding :::: ....

However, there is a case before the Supreme Court to legalise Spam, so $$Dollar$$ Candidates (industries and business) can plumb that market vehicle, too.

Both major political parties agreed to pool legal expenses to challenge the "No Spam" barrier. Each party recognises a clearly beneficial outcome for the additional advertising market. The parties were successful in postponing the mid-term elections so the "No Spam" challenge could be heard and therefore cash-in on windfall profits when the Court overturns e-Mail Spam political advertising barriers.

The arguments to be presented to the Court are: One, Spam has the same rights as people, and business [business clarified as legally "people", too]. Second, Spam has been kicked around as bad, and not even healthful as dog food. And, since people won't be allowed to go camping in the near future (where Spam is consumed) because all public land is to be sold to draw-down the national debt ... it's critical to maintain vital American businesses; especially one that just last week changed its image and is moving from beer-and-spaghetti-puke yellow (Fall colors) to eco-Green, due to reduced sodium content that will kill people an astounding 1/3 less quickly.

The anticipated benefits to opening Spam to advertising dollars and improved consumption will be an additional 25 millon jobs ... WHICH everyone knows is far more important than any longterm, or short, hazards  and damage to environment, people, or aligned Industry.  The 100 {sic. 100,000, ed.} jobs presently held in blocking Spam will benefit from tax dollars to retrain as advertisers, and soup-line workers.

Back to regular programming.....

One benefit of early voting: I don't have to hang up the phone in the middle of a volunteer's sentence. I can interrupt and tell them: "I voted for the candidate with the fewest, least obnoxious advertisements." Does anyone remember when they called to remind you just to vote? Or, offer unconditional transportation to the polls?

Next election, I'm only going to vote for the unchallenged judges. I've ignored marking/punching their slots since the second time I ever voted. And, Fred Ziffel may come out of retirement to challenge everyone as a write-in.

Rebellious Voter

PS. Mistress has promised to complete her ballot on my back using a tattoo needle.

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